Mom is half way through the Chemo Treatments now. She is frail, unable to eat any solid food,has no hair and doesn't remotely resemble, physically, the Mom I knew. She sleeps most of the time. She has had two blood transfusions in the last 3 weeks because of low blood counts. They tell us this can be normal, because of the high dosage of Chemo that they are giving her.
I continue to try to talk to her about things other than the Cancer. Even though most conversations end up back there. My brother from Florida has taken a family leave and is with her for a few weeks now. This has allowed me to me at home with my family. Not that I am here mentally. I am still focused on her. And how she is doing. And if she will make it through this. I am clinging to ever thread of hope that she will survive this. Yet I have to face the fact that she may not. I know that life will go on. It will just be so very strange without her.
So today, I will take one moment at a time and enjoy every moment I have with her. And try not to worry about the future that I have no control over.